Archives For denial

by Jonette Crowley

“Welcome ex-martyrs,” was MARK’S opening line in our first class of the ‘Awakening Your Multi-Dimensional Gifts’ trilogy of courses.* The theme of the class was to help us alleviate pain and suffering. This came in response to my request earlier that week, okay, it was a temper tantrum to Spirit, asking vehemently: “Why can’t we alleviate at least some of each human’s suffering???”

denialMARK pointed out that before we can access the deepest levels of suffering— so we can release it, we first have to address 2 formidable challenges. The first is denial, which covers over the second challenge, which is fear. We’re afraid to see the pain, so we deny and stuff it. We have to rip off the Band-Aid of denial to see the wound that we are afraid of. Only then can the suffering be released. MARK gave us the homework to be relentless in digging below denial and facing the fear to bring light to that which was hidden.

Like most of us, I am so good at denying pain that I’ve forgotten that I’m still carrying it around. I wasn’t focused on doing the homework.

Last week, Mark (my physical guy—-it truly is confusing to have both physical and spiritual Marks) and I attended a lovely event and then settled down on my patio for a cup of tea. Tenderly he rubbed my feet, but something jolted me into an “icky” feeling from my past. “Oh no, it’s triggered some childhood trauma,” I said as tears welled up. I was four years old at an in-home daycare. I was scared of the babysitter’s husband. “That bad man hurt me,” I said in a young voice, though I couldn’t and didn’t need to remember what he did.

Wrenching sobs erupted without prelude, taking both of us by surprise. Mark held me as I curled up in a fetal position, sobbing, hyperventilating—feeling deeply repressed pain. My body remembered the emotional pain, it didn’t need rational confirmation to move through the denial and the decades of repression. It took nearly an hour of gut wrenching sobs, wordlessly comforted in Mark’s arms for the suffering to be released. Today I feel empty but lighter. My body vibrates differently. I can only hope that there has been a chink in the armor of my chronic tension, hyper-vigilance and the need to protect myself.

I’m grateful that my body was ready to do the homework of digging through my rational denial of emotional pain. I feel considerably healed from a drama I forgot I carried.

As ugly as it might be, please give yourself the opportunity to purge your deepest suffering and to rejoice in the lightness it’s departure grants to you. This reminds me that denial is not a strategy of healing, it is merely a strategy for survival.

For more information about the MARK’s current course, Awakening your Multi-Dimensional Gifts: Treasures From Beyond Part I – Practical Integration of Multidimensionality, click here.

(CopyRight 2015 www.JonetteCrowley.com)

treasure-chest-300x225‘Mark’ is a cosmic being channeled by Jonette since 1989. His goal is to lift humanity above the structures of our 3-D consciousness. “Your reality is a reflection of your level of consciousness.” He leads weekly recorded courses introducing us experientially to the higher dimensions of awakening. This is exploration at the very edges of human spiritual awareness. There is nothing like these on-going courses for expansion and transformation. To get a taste of ‘Mark’ for free, go to our ‘Listening and Viewing Room.’ Click here to order current or past Mark courses as audio links, CD’s, or simply get the transcripts.